The military has an acronym for EVERYTHING..... It's fucking annoying sometimes I just want people to stop being lazy and stop shortening every word, it's like little kids internet talk LOL, LMAO, TTYL you get the idea. Anyway the acronym MRE is actually one I happen to agree with. MRE stands for Meal Ready to Eat. I'd rather say "Hey man pass me an MRE" than " Hey man pass me a Meal Ready to Eat.
|The MRE's US troops eat today.|
MRE's are prepackaged meals troops eat when they can't make it to a chow hall (cafeteria). They have a wide variety from Buffalo Chicken to Meatloaf. They also have a variety of different side meals from mashed potatoes to M&M's. They are actually pretty good.
The only problem with MRE's is that they are jam packed with preservatives. This is great for the longevity of the meal but bad when it comes to digestion. The thing I dread the most when I'm in the field is taking a shit after eating an MRE. I know everyone is laughing and you probably think I'm joking, but I couldn't be more serious. It's like shitting a bowling ball. Honestly it makes respect pornstars and any woman that can stand having anal sex.
A few years ago I had just returned from a long training exercise. We ate nothing but MRE's the entire time. Afterward I had to get a physical in order to attend Airborne school. The doctor, took my blood pressure, asked me all of the compulsory questions etc.
Doc: Alright Specialist Mike, now I'm going to need you to drop your pants and turn around.
Me: Umm.... Seriously?
I had no choice. It was either take the "Finger" or get dropped from Airborne school. I reluctantly dropped my pants. The doctor took out an industrial size bottle of lubricant. I contemplated asking him where I could pick up such a large bottle, but ultimately I decided to keep my mouth shut and accept my fate. The sound of the lubricant squishing out of the bottle onto his finger was enough to make me gag. I took a deep breath and braced myself for insertion. When the Doc slid his finger in my bum my entire body tensed up. I was white knuckling the table, my fingers digging into the nylon padding.
Before I knew it , it was over. There was an awkward silence. The doctor began writing on his evaluation sheet.
Doc: Alright Specialist Mike, everything seems to be in order. You have some blood in your stool , but that's okay.
Are you fucking serious? Where I'm from blood in your shit is usually a problem. But I'm not a doctor or anything. He went on to explain that if you eat nothing but MRE's for a long time then it's not unusual to have blood in your poo. I was flabbergasted. But that's the price you pay for survival I guess.
|The shit my grandfather ate during WWII, they were called C-Rations|