Mickey Rourke's Hands are Vomit Worthy

October 25th 2010

Before I joined the Army I was an actor. Now I know what you're thinking, this guy is a douche. He's an art house goon that didn't want to get a real job. That I would play a harmonica on 3rd street promenade in Santa Monica for nickels. But I was a working actor , so shut up.

Anyway I booked a commercial once that required the camera to zoom in on one of my hands. Now if I remember correctly the assistant director checked my hands to make sure they were suitable for an on camera shot. My hands are okay I guess and the director deemed them worthy of an on screen appearance. Had they been Mickey Rourke esq. they would have had a "Hand Double" replace my hands. Why do I bring this up?

Recently I watched Iron Man 2. It was a very good movie. Mickey Rourke generally plays characters that are rough around the edges. Wrestlers, Bounty Hunters, genius Russian Scientist that can build self sustaining , renewable energy sources with common household goods. So I understand that his appearance may be undesirable. But that guys hands are objectionable. Seriously, it looks like he dipped his hands in battery acid. I'm in the army and my hands and feet get dirty all of the time. But after they get dirty, I ya know.... wash them! Its pretty simple, a bar of soap and some water will do the trick. Also, every few weeks I cut my nails. I'm not metro sexual by any means , but come on if you're making a few million a movie you can afford 99 cent nail clippers as well as a bar of soap to wash the aforementioned hands and feet. Ill admit I have a serious aversion towards hands and feet. It's one of my many short comings. So please Mickey Rourke wear some gloves and socks, I'll even pay for them.